vivaaham/udvaaham

“vivAha विवाह” means leading away ( taking a bride in marriage ) or bearing. VivAham is a very important samskaaram as it marks the beginning of a new life for a couple and calls for a life long mutual commitment to achieve desired goals. The first order of a  man’s life is called “brahamcharya Ashrama”where he spends life studying.  Now he enters the second order of his life called “gRushasthAshrama गृहस्थाश्रम “. Once married, the husband is called “gRuhasta गृहस्थ” or “gRuhamEdhin गृहमेधिन्, meaning “a householder (who conducts domestic sacrifices)” The wife of a householder is called “gRuhamEdhinee गृहमेधिनी”

udvAham उद्वाहम् pANi grahaNam पाणि ग्रहणम् samudvAham समुद्वाहम् adhigamanam अधिगमनम् The boy (bridegroom) is called vara वर and the girl (bride) is called vadhu वधु After marriage, the husband is called pati, bhartA पति, भर्ता Wife is called patni, gRuhamEdhinee or bhAryA पत्नी, गृहमेधिनी, भार्या

vivAham  is the most important samskAram because it is the centre of all sacrifices. gRuhsasthAshrama is hailed by the smRutis as the most excellent order/Ashrama of life. The following are the reasons why one should marry:

AjÉÉåþ AýÉåï uÉÉ LýwÉ AÉýiqÉlÉþ:।rÉimɦÉÏÿ ।

athO arddhO vA eSha Atmana:. yatpatnee.

A man is himself only half, the other half is his wife.

अय॑ज्ञो॒ वा ए॒ष:। यो॑ऽप॒त्नीक॑:।

ayagyO vA eSha:. yOapatneeka:.

One who does not have a wife is indeed without sacrifice.

eÉÉrÉþqÉÉlÉÉåý uÉæ oÉëÉÿ¼ýhÉÎx§ÉýÍpÉUç GþhÉýuÉÉ eÉÉþrÉiÉå oÉë¼ýcÉrÉåïýhÉÌwÉïþprÉÉå rÉý¥ÉålÉþ SåýuÉåprÉþ: mÉëýeÉrÉÉþ ÌmÉýiÉ×prÉþ”

 jAyamAnO vai brAhmaNastribhir RuNavA jAyatEbrahmacharyENarShibhyO yagyEna dEvebhya: prajayA pitRubhyA.

The Vedas declare that a Brahmana is born into this world with three debts to be discharged. The three debts are: 

1. RuShi RuNam ऋषि ऋणम्: Debt due to Rishis. This can be discharged by observing celibacy (Brahmacharyam) and learning and studying the Vedas. 

2. dEva RuNam दॆव ऋणम्: Debt due to the dEvas(Celestials): This can be discharged by performing yagyas like jyotishtOmam, agni hOtram, pancha mahA yagyam etc. 

3. pitRu RuNam पितृ ऋणम्: Debt due to pitRus (manes): This can be discharged by begetting children, after duly getting initiated into gRuhastAshrama (Householder). 

यथा वायुं समाश्रित्य वर्तन्ते सर्वजन्तव:। तथा गृहस्थम् आश्रित्य वर्तन्ते सर्व आश्रमा:।।

yathA vAyuM samAshritya vartantE sarvajantava:.
tathaa gRuhastham Ashritya vartantE sarva AshramA:

Just as all living creatures depend upon air for survivial, so do the members of all other orders namely the brahmachAris, the vAnaprasthas and the sanyAsis depend upon the gRuhastha (householder) who belongs to the second order.

यस्मात् त्रयो अप्याश्रमिणो ज्ञानेन अन्नेन च अन्वहम्. गृहस्थेन एव धार्यन्ते तस्माज् ज्येष्ठाश्रमो गृही.

yasmAt trayO apyAshramiNO gyAnEna annena cha anvaham.
gRuhasthEna Eva dhaaryante tasmaaj jyEShThAshramO gRuhee.

The men of the other three Ahsramas are daily supported by the householder with gifts of knowledge and food.  That is the reason why the householder’s order is considered the most excellent order of all the four.

  ऋषय: पितरो देवा भूतान्यतिथयस् तथा। आशासते कुटुम्बिभ्यस् तेभ्य: कार्य विजानता।।

RuShaya: pitarO dEvA bhootAnyatithayas tathaa.
AshAsatE kuTumbibhyas tEbhya: kArya vijAnatA.

The sages(Rushis), the manes(pitRus), the Gods(dEvAs), the living creatures (bhootAs), and guests(atithis) await the houselholder’s offerings.  Those who know this must give their offerings to these 5 subjects. (These are called the panchamahAyagyas).

पुण्येनक्षत्रेदारान्कुर्वीत ।

puNyE nakShatrE daaraankurveeta.

Let him take a wife under a propitious nakshatra.

12. सर्वऋतवोविवाहस्यशैशिरौमासौपरिहाप्योत्तमंचनैदाघम् ।

sarvaRutavO vivaahasya shaishirou maasou parihaapyOttamam cha naidaagham.

All seasons are fit for marriage except the two months of the shishira season (magha and phalguna) and the second month of the greeshma season (AashaaDa)

13. सर्वाणिपुण्योक्तानिनक्षत्राणि तथामङ्गलानि ।

sarvaaNi puNyOktaani nakshatraaNi tathaa mangalaani.

All nakshatras/stars which are considered to be auspicious nakshatras and fit muhoortas according to astrology are eligible for marriage.

उदगयनआपूर्यमाणपक्षेकल्याणेनक्षत्रेचौलकर्मोपनयनगोदानविवाहा: ।

udagayana aapooryamaaNapakShE kalyaaNE nakShatrE. choulakarmOpanayanagOdaanavivaahaa:.

The tonsure of the child’s head, the initiation of a brahmachaaree, the cutting of the beard and marriage should be celebrated during the northern course of the sun (uttarAyaNam), in the time of the increasing moon(shukla paksham) and under an auspicious nakshatra.

1. How to select a girl (bride) for marriage? 19. बन्धुशीललक्षणसम्पन्नामरोगामुपच्छेत ।

bandhusheelalakShaNasampannaamarOgaamupachCheta.

Let the boy marry a girl of good family and character with auspicious characteristics and of good health.

2. How to select a boy(bridegroom) for marriage? 20. बन्धुशीललक्षणसम्पन्नश्श्रुतवानरोगइतिवरसम्पत् ।

bandhusheelalakShaNasampannashshrutavaanarOga iti varasampat.

May the boy be from a good family, of good character, have auspicious characteristics, have vEdic learning and good health.

21. यस्यांमनश्चक्षोर्निबन्धस्तस्यामृद्धिर्नेतरदाद्रियेतेत्येके ।

yasyaam manashchakShOrnibandhastasyaamruddhirnEtaradaadriyEtEtyEkE.

It is believed that if a girl is pleasing to the boy’s mind and his eye, then it will bring happiness to him. In that case, let him be easy on the other things: such is the opinion of some.

The following is the procedure according to Apastamba gRuhya sootram.

1. All preliminary ceremonies (without mantra)

Apastamba gRuhya sootram paTala 1 KhaNDa 2 verse 15

A.G.S. 1.2.15 आवृतश्चास्त्रीभ्यःप्रतीयेरन् ।AvRutashchaastreebhya: prateeyEran.

One should learn from women what ceremonies are required by the custom. Before the beginning of the marriage by the pandit, preliminary ceremonies like pushpamAlA parivartanam (exchanging garland), dolArOhaNam(oonjal), ceremonies for sumangalis (pidi suttal), welcoming the groom (vara), mehendi,etc. should be performed according to customs and traditions of the respective states, religion and culture. These are ceremonies which do not require the vedic mantras and can be performed according to kulAchAra कुलाचारम् . .

2. Sankalpam,ankurArpaNam,pratisara bandhanam सङ्कल्पं,अङ्कुरार्पणम् ,प्रतिसर बन्धनम्

After the groom (vara) is welcomed, the marriage is started with the sankalpam.

ankura karma अङ्कुरार्पणम्  : (ankuram means sprout). Five grains viz; paddy, black gram, gingely seeds, mustard and green gram are soaked, sprouted and sown in special earthern pots called paalikA /paligha पालिका/पलिघ. The five pots are arranged as- 4 for four directions and 1 in the centre. The dik devataas are invoked on it and mantras recited in their honour. Water and milk are sprinkled on it to grow, symbolising welfare and growth of progeny. Then upasthAnam is done. After marriage the paalikA contents are emptied into a river or pond.

pratisarabandhanam प्रतिसर बन्धनम्: pratisarabandham is also called kangana bandham, rakshA bandhanam.   pratisara sootram or kanganam is a thread made from cotton, folded nine times and smeared with turmeric. It is tied to the right hand of the bridegroom and to the left hand of the bride. While tying, the ‘brUhad saama..’ mantras are uttered. braahmaNaas can be offered dakshiNai after this ritual. The pratisara sootram can be removed after the karma (vivaaham) is over. In olden days they used to leave the pratisara sootram in the river during saayam sandhi after marriage just like how it was done with the paalighai.

Both these are for removing obstacles during marriage ceremony and for keeping the couple secure till the rituals of the marriage are performed successfully.

3. varaprEShaNam /kanyAvaraNam/vAkdAnam: वरप्रॆषणम् /कन्यावरणम्/वाक्दानम्

aapastamba sootra patala 2, khanda 4, verses 1-

A.G.S.2.4.1 सुहृदस्समवेतान्मन्त्रवतोवरान्प्रहिणुयात् तानादितोद्वाभ्यामभिमन्त्रयेत ।

The groom sends his close friends (3 of them) who are brAhmaNas to the bride’s father to request him to give his girl in marriage. He recites mantra from EkAgni kANDa 1.1.1 and 2. while sending them.

3.a. vAk dAnam वाक्दानम्:

The bride is called “kanyA” and the the bride’s father is called “kanyA dAtA कन्या दाता”.The kanyA dAtA accepts the proposal by the brAhmaNa friends and agrees to give away his daughter in marriage to the groom.

4. kanyA dAnam कन्या दानम्

vara poojaa: The groom is made to sit on a heap of dhAnya (uncooked rice with husk) facing east and the father sits in front of the groom facing west. On this day the groom is considered “mahA viShNu swaroopa” i.e. the embodiment of mahAviShNu. Hence, the father offers him sandal paste and does pAda pooja पाद पूजा. He washes the groom’s feet (starting with the right feet) with water given by his wife (mother of the bride) repeating the verses “tat vishnO: paramam padam…). Then the kanyA dAtA sits on the seat of rice and husk ; and makes the bride sit in his lap both facing east. The groom now stands in front of them facing west and listens to the gOtra pravara of 3 generations of the groom and the bride recited by the father.

4.a. At this kanyA dAna kAlam, 4 other dAnas (gifts) are given to the groom being the auspicious time.

a. gOdAnam गोदानं; cow or affordable hiraNyadAnam (gold)

b. bhoodAnam भूदानं; piece of land or affordable hiraNyadAnam(gold)

c. phaladAnam फलदानं; fruits

d. shreemoorti dAnam श्रीमूर्तिदानं; shAlagrAma diety

4.b. A tray containing taamboola, dakShiNa, turmeric, fruits, coconut and flowers are given in the bride’s hands and the following shlOka is repeated by the father.

कन्यां कनकसम्पन्नां सर्वाभरण भूषिताम्।

दास्यामिविष्णवे तुभ्यं ब्रह्मलॊकजिगीषया ॥

विश्वम्भरास्सर्वभूतास्साक्षिण्यस्सर्व दॆवता:।

इमां कन्यां प्रदास्यामि पितॄणां तारणाय च।

कन्ये ममाग्रतो भूया:कन्येमे देवि: पार्श्वत:।

कन्ये मे सर्वतॊ भूया: त्वद्दानान्मॊक्षमाप्नुयाम्॥

kanyaaM kanakasampannaaM sarvaabharaNa bhooShitaam|

dAsyAmiviShNave tubhyaM brahmalOkajigeeShayA ||

vishvambharAssarvabhootAssAkShiNyassarva dEvatA:|

imAM kanyAM pradAsyaami pitRUNAM tAraNAya cha|

kanye mamAgrato bhooyA:kanyeme devi: paarshvata:|

kanye me sarvatO bhooyA: tvad dAnAnmOkshamApnuyAm||

Meaning: I give away this girl who is adorned with gold ornaments to you,ViShNu, with the desire of conquering the world of Brahma. The nourisher of the whole universe, all the creatures and all the gods are witness to this kanyA dAnam which helps in the salvation of my forefathers.

Then the father gives the bride’s right hand to the groom’s right hand. The groom accepts the bride while mantrAs are recited.

5. madhuparkam मधुपर्कम्

मधु madhu means honey. मधुपर्क madhuparka means offering a mixture of honey,curd and ghee. The bride’sfather washes the groom’s feet again. The father offers to the groom a mixture of honey and curd/ghee in a small vessel. The groom partakes 3 servings of the mixture uttering the following verses from eKAgni kANDam, verses 3.10.3 & 4

 

amRutopastaraNamasi ।yanmadhuno madhavyaM paramamannaadyaM veeryaM ।

tenAhaM madhuno madhavyena parameNaannaadyena veeryeNa paramo&nnaado madhavyo&saani । amRutaapidhAnamasi ।

Meaning: May I enjoy that honey which is so sweet and which is the highest form of food. May I thus become strong and sweet like the honey.

A cow is presented here to the bride else a whole coconut is presented in the place of a cow.

6. mAngalya dhAraNam मांगल्य धारणं

A.G.S.2.4.8. उत्तरेणयजुषातस्याश्शिरसिदर्भेण्वंनिधायतस्मिन्नुत्तरयादक्षिणंयुगच्छिद्रंप्रतिष्ठाप्यछिद्रे सुवर्णमुत्तरयान्तर्धायोत्तराभि: पञ्चभिस्स्नापयित्वोत्तरयाऽहतेनवाससाच्छाद्योत्तरयायोक्त्रेणसन्नह्यति ।

uttarENa yajuShaa tasyaashshirasi darbhENvam nidhaaya tasminnuttarayaa dakShiNam yugachChidram pratiShThaapya ChidrE suvarNamuttarayaantardhaayOttaraabhi: panchabhissnaapayitvOttarayaahatEna vaasasaachChaadyOttarayaa yOktrENa sannahyati.

6.a. The dAtA(girl’s father) then sits facing East, the bride sits on his lap. The groom faces the bride to the west. He then places a ring made of darbha on her head. He then places a yoke on the ring. Then he places the tirumAngalyam/mangalsutra/mAnglayasootram; a chord smeared with turmeric containing a piece of gold or golden pendant) on the spout of the yoke.

Then he pours water on the yoke so that the water bathes her fully falling through the gold at the spout of the yoke. Five mantras are recited here :

 

1. hiraNyavarNASSucaya: pAvakA: pracakamur hitvA&vadyamApa:|
shataMpavitrA vitatA hyAsu tABiShTvA devassavitA punAtu||

2. hiraNyavarNASSucaya: pAvakAyAsu jAta: kaSyapO yAsvagni:|
yA agniM garBaM dadhire suvarNAstAsta Apashsh syOnA Bavantu||

3. yAsA rAjA varuNo yAti madhye satyAnRute avapSya~jjanAnAm|
yA agniM garBaM dadhire suvarNAstAsta Apashsh syOnA Bavantu||

4. yAsAM devA divi kRuNvanti BakShM yA antarikShe bahudhA niviShTA:|
yA agniM garBaM dadhire suvarNAstAsta ApaSSa syOnA Bavantu ||

5. Sivena tvA cakShuShA paSyantvApaSSivayA tanvOpaspRuSantu tvacaM te | ghRutaSvutaSSucayO yA: pAvakAstasta ApaSSa syOnA Bavantu ||

Meaning:
1. Dear bride, May Lord SavitA purify you with this water AÉmÉ:, which is pure in colour, which has the power to purify, and the power to remove all your sins.

2. This is the water from which kashyapa and agni have emerged. May such water which holds agni in its womb, purify you and grant you material and spiritual bliss.

3. May Lord VaruNa residing in this water protect you from all sins and grant you material and heavenly bliss.

4. May the mighty water to whom the dEvAs offer food, bless you to live happily in this world and beyond.

5. May this water see you with auspicious eyes. Let this water touch your shoulders with auspiciousness. May this water that is equal to the power of ghee, grant you bliss in this world and beyond.

6.b. Then the marriage vastra (koora pudavai/wedding saree) is given to her to wear. The bride wears the vastram with the help of her sister-in-laws or other relatives of the groom and according to the custom/sampradAya of the groom’s side. The following mantra is recited while she wears the saree.

Meaning: Just as the mantras uttered in a yagya to Lord dEvEndra bring praise to Him, Let this vastra that is tied around the bride bring her praise and prosperity. May the mantras uttered by us also bring prosperity and good name to this girl.

6.c. After wearing the new saree she comes and sits on her father’s lap again. Then with the blessings of the elders the groom ties the thirumAngalyam/mangalsootra around her neck. He usually ties one knot and his sister ties the other 2 knots. At this juncture musical instruments are played, elders shower blessings of akshada and ladies sing auspicious songs. The shloka recited here is
मांगल्य तन्तुनाऽनेन मम जीवन हेतुना

कण्ठे बध्नामि सुभगे त्वंजीव शरदश्शतम्। ।

मंगलं भगवान् विष्णु: मंगलं मधुसूदन:

मंगलं पुण्डरीकाक्ष: मंगलं गरुडध्वज: ।।

mAMgalya tantunA&nena mama jeevana hetunaa

kaNThe badhnaami subhage tvaMjeeva sharadashshatam ।

maMgalaM bhagavAn viShNu: maMgalaM madhusoodana:

maMgalaM puNDareekAkSha: maMgalaM garuDadhvaja: ।

Dear lady! This sacred thread is going to give me long life. I tie this around your neck so you that you live happily for a hundred years with me. Auspiscious is Bhagavan ViShNu, Auspiscious is Madhusoodana, Hail PuNDareekAksha, Hail the flag of bhagavAn which has garuDa. Thus he ties the wedding knot taking the names of the Lord and his subjects.

6.d. yOktra bandhanam यॊक्त्र बन्धनम्

He then ties a chord called yOktra around her waist and over her saree, reciting the mantras:

Meaning: Oh Agni!, Now onwards, my wife will be a part of me in every vrata (yagya) I do. Hence I pray that you grant her a healthy mind, children, health, wealth and all prosperity. Please accept her and make her fit so that she can participate in all the yagyas, thus I tie this chord around her.

7. pANigrahaNam पाणिग्रहणम्

A.G.S.2.4.9-14

अथैनामुत्तरयादक्षिणेहस्तेगृहीत्वाग्निमभ्यानीयापरेणाग्निमुदगग्रंकटमास्तीर्यतस्मिन्नुपविशतउत्तरोवरः अग्नेरुपसमाधानाद्याज्यभागान्तेऽथैनामादितोद्वाभ्यामभिमन्त्रयेत । अथास्यै दक्षिणेन नीचा हस्तेन दक्षिणमुत्तानँहस्तं गृह्णीयात् गृभ्णामि त इत्येताभिश्चतसृभि:।

athainaamuttarayaa dakShiNE hastE gruheetva agnimabhyaaneeyaaparENaagni mudagagram kaTamaasteerya tasminnupavishata uttarO vara: agnEr upasamaadhaanaadya aajyabhaagaantEthainaamaaditO dvaabhyaam abhimantrayEta. athaasyai dakShiNEna neechaa hastEna dakShiNamuttaanam hastam gruhNeeyaat. grubhNaami ta ityEtaabhishchatasrubhi:

” pANi पाणि ” means hand (palm) and ” grahaNa ग्रहणम् ” means “to hold or grasp”.

The sacrificial fire (agni) is established. The groom (vara) holds the bride’s hand and brings her near the agni. They sit in North South directions respectively. The groom offers Ajya Bhaga oblations in the fire.

The groom then lowers his right hand and grasps together the fingers and the thumb of the bride’s right hand and utters the following 4 mantras. This samskara is called pANi grahaNam.

1. gRubhNAmi te suprajAstvAya hastaM mayA patyA jaradaShTiryathA&sa:. bhago aryamA savitA purandhirmahyaM tvA&durgArhapatyAya devA:

2. te ha poorve janaaso yatra poorvavaho hito hitA: moordhanvAn yatra saubhrava: poorvo devebhya Atapat.

3. sarasvati predamava subhage vAjineevati. taaM tvA vishvasya bhootasya pragAyAmapyagrata:

4. ya eti pradishassarvaa disho&nu pavamAna:hiraNyahasta airaMmassa tvA manmanasaM kRuNotu

Meaning:- I seize your hand so that we may live with righteous children and upto old age together. Bhaga,aryamA, savitA, purandhi and all other Gods have given you to me for this purpose. Come, let us marry and take charge of the house in their presence. Oh auspicious Saraswati! Bless us so we live together a happy married life.

यदि कामयेत स्त्रीरेव जनयेयमित्यङ्गुलीरेव गृह्णीयात् यदिकामयेतपुंसएवजनयेयमित्यङ्गुष्ठमेवसोऽभीवाङ्गुष्ठमभीवलोमानिगृह्णाति ।

(It is said that if a male child alone is required then the groom holds only the thumb; if a female child alone is desired, then the groom holds only the fingers)

8. saptapadi सप्तपदि:

A.G.S.2.4.15. अथैनामुत्तेरणाग्निं दक्षिणेन पदा प्राचीमुदीचीं वा दिशमभि प्रक्रमयत्येकमिष इति. सखेति सप्तमे पदे जपति

athainaamuttEraNaagnim dakShiNEna padaa praacheemudeecheem vaa dishamabhi prakramayatyEkamiSha iti sakhEti saptamE padE japati

Then the groom holds the bride’s right leg (toes) with his left hand and walks forward 7 steps towards the North or East of Agni reciting the following 7 (saptapadi) mantras in order, one mantra for every step.

1. Ekamishe viShNustvAnvEtu

2. dve oorje viShNustvAnvEtu

3. treeNi vratAya viShNustvAnvEtu

4. chatvAri mAyo bhavAya viShNustvAnvEtu

5. pancha pashubhya: viShNustvAnvetu

6. ShaDrutubhya: viShNustvAnvetu

7. Sapta saptabhyo hotrAbhya: viShNustvAnvetu

Meaning:

1. May Lord ViShNu, the nourisher of the universe, follow you to grant food to our family.

2. May Lord ViShNu, follow you in the second step to grant us the strength.

3. May Lord ViShNu follow you in the third step, so that we do our vratas (duties) properly.

4. May Lord ViShNu follow you in the fourth step, so that we enjoy ourselves.

5. May Lord ViShNu follow you in the fifth step to bring us wealth/children and cattle.

6. May Lord ViShNu follow you in the sixth step granting us the benefits of all the 6 Rutus.(seasons)

7. May Lord ViShNu follow you invoking the seven hOtrAs (the sacrificial priests/Rutwiks) namely hOtA, praShAstA, brAhmaNAchChamsi, bOdhA, nEShTi, achChAvAka and Agnitran so that they conduct all our sacrifices.

After completion of the seven steps, he recites the following mantras:

saKhA saptapadA Bava saKhAyau saptapadA baBUva saKyaM te gameya saKyAtte mA yoSha saKyAnme mA yoShThAssamayAva sankalpAvahai saMpriyau rochiShNU sumanasyamAnau iShamUrjamabhi savaMsAnau saM nau manAsi saM vratA samucittAnyAkaram. sA tvamasyamUhamamUhamasmi sA tvaM dyaurahaM pRuthivI tvagum rEto-ahagum rEtobhRuttvaM mano-ahamasmi vAktvagum. sAmAhamasbhyuktvgum sA mAmanuvratA bhava puMsE putrAya vEttavai shriyai putrAya vEttava ehi sUnRutE.

Dear Wife! By taking these seven steps, you have become my dearest friend. I pledge my unfailing loyalty to you.

Let us stay together for the rest of our lives.
Let us not separate from each other ever.

Let us be of one mind in carrying out our responsibilities as householders (gRuhasthas).

Let us love and cherish each other and enjoy nourishing food and good health. Let us discharge our prescribed Vedic duties to our elders, ancestors, rishis, creatures, and gods.

Let our aspirations be united.

I will be the Saaman and may you be the Rk. [Saaman here refers to the music and Rk refers to the Vedic text that is being cast into music.]

Let me be the upper world and let you be the Bhumi or Mother Earth.

I will be the Sukla or life force and may you be the bearer of that Sukla.

Let me be the mind and let you be the speech.

May you follow me to conceive children and gain worldly as well as spiritual wealth!

May all auspiciousness come your way.

After this they circumbulate the agni in clockwise direction (pradikshiNa) and sit down for the main homa.

8. pradhAna hOma: प्रधान हॊम:

A.G.S.2.5.1. प्राग्घोमात्प्रदक्षिणमग्निंकृत्वायथास्थानमुपविश्यान्वारब्धायामुत्तराआहुतीर्जुहोतिसोमायजनिविदेस्वाहेत्येतैःप्रतिमन्त्रम् ।

praagghOmaatpradakshiNamagnim krutvaa yathaasthaanamupavishya anvaarabdha ayaamuttaraa aahuteerjuhOti sOmaaya janividE svaahEtyEtai: pratimantram.

The couple take the seat to the north of agni and perform homa of 16 mantras saluting the dEvatAs, viz: sOma, gandharva,indra,agni,vAyu,ashwini dEvas, bRuhaspati, savitA, vishvEdEvas and varuNa and seeking a hindrance free long life, children and prosperity.

9. ashmArohaNam अश्मारोहणम्

soo.2.5.2 अथैनामुत्तरेणाग्निंदक्षिणेनपदाऽश्मानमास्थापयत्यातिष्ठेति ।

athainaamuttarENaagnim dakshiNEna padaashmaanamaasthaapayatyaatiShThEti.

“Ashma” means stone/stony and “ArOhaNam” means climbing

They then go around the fire. The bridegroom then leads the bride to a mounting stone/grinding stone that is already set up. (“ammi” in tamil). He holds her right hand with his right hand and places her right leg using his left hand on the stone and then the bride places her left leg on it and stands on it. The mantra recited here is :

AtiShThemamashmAnamashmeva tvam sthiraa bhava. abhi tiShTha pRutanyatassahasva pRutanAyata:

Meaning: May you stand firm on this stone. May you be rock-firm like this grinding stone! May you stand up with mental strength against those you oppose you while you perform the duties sanctioned by the Vedas and tradition! As the head of the household, may you develop the tolerance and resilience to face the difficulties that come across in your stay with me!

9. a. Then according to some traditions the bridegroom puts two silver toe-rings on both the toes of the bride.

10. lAjA hOmam लाजा हॊमम्

A.G.S.2.5.3 to 12. अथास्याअञ्जलावुपस्तीर्यद्विर्लाजानोप्याभिघारयति तस्यास्तोदर्योलाजानावपतीत्येके जुहोतियंनारीति उत्तराभिस्तिसृभिःप्रदक्षिणमग्निंकृत्वाऽश्मानमास्थापयतियथापुरस्तात्।होमश्चोत्तरया। पुनःपरिक्रमणम् । होमश्चोत्तरया ।पुनःपरिक्रमणम् ।जयादिप्रतिपद्यते ।

athaasyaa anjalaavupasteerya dvirlaajaanOpyaabhighaarayati tasyaastOdaryO laajaa naavapateetyEkE juhOti yam naareeti। uttaraabhistisrubhi: pradakshiNamagnim krutvaashmaanamaasthaapayati yathaa purastaat। hOmashchOttarayaa। puna: parikramaNam। hOmashchOttarayaam । jayaadi pratipadyatE

lAjA means parched rice (arisi pori)

A hOma with parched rice is peformed by the bride groom. She joins both her hands like a cup. Her husband sanctifies it with little ghee (upastaraNam). Her brother fills her palms with parched rice. The husband again adds a few drops of ghee (abhikAraNam). The parched rice is then offered into agni with mantras. They then go around the fire. This is done twice or thrice. lAjA hOma is done by the wife to pray for the long life of her husband and a harmonious marriage.

1. iyam naaryupa broote kulpanyAvapantikA.

deerghayurastu me patirjeevAtu sharadashshatam

tubhyamagne paryavahanthsooryAM vahatunaa saha.

puna: patibhyo jAyAM dA agne prajayA saha.

puna: patneemagniradAdAyuShA saha varchasA. deerghAyurasyA ya: patissa etu sharadashshatam.

vishvaa uta tvayA vayaM dhaaraa udanyA iva.

atigAhemahi dviSha: AtisShThemamashmAnam….pRutanAyata:

2. aryamaNaM nu devaM kanyA agnimayakShat. sa imAM devo adhvara: preto muNchaati nAmutassubaddhAmamutaskarat.

tubhyamagne paryavahanthsooryAM vahatunaa saha.

puna: patibhyo jAyAM dA agne prajayA saha.

puna: patneemagniradAdAyuShA saha varchasA. deerghAyurasyA ya: patissa etu sharadashshatam.

vishvaa uta tvayA vayaM dhaaraa udanyA iva.

atigAhemahi dviSha: AtisShThemamashmAnam….pRutanAyata:

3. tvamaryamaa bhavasi yatkaneenAM nAma svadhaavathsvaryaM bibharShi.

anjanti vRukShaM sudhitaM na gobhiryaddambatee samanasA kRuNoShi.

tubhyamagne paryavahanthsooryAM vahatunaa saha.

puna: patibhyo jAyAM dA agne prajayA saha.

puna: patneemagniradAdAyuShA saha varchasA. deerghAyurasyA ya: patissa etu sharadashshatam.

vishvaa uta tvayA vayaM dhaaraa udanyA iva.

atigAhemahi dviSha: AtisShThemamashmAnam…pRutanAyaa:

Meaning:

1. Oh agni!, My wife is offering lAjA/pori to you praying for the long life of her husband which is myself. Please grant her what she wants. May we cross all hurdles together with your blessings.

2. Oh agni!, You are really aryaman ( the true man). Give my wife the strength to leave her father’s house and show love in our new house.

3. Oh agni! Just as we grow trees and water them, we shall together offer ghee so you shine with brilliance. And by the offerings we make into you, the gods are pleased. So, bless us to remain compatible so that we continue our sacrifice together.

11. gRuhapravEhsam गृहप्रवॆषम्:

A.G.S.2.5.13-18 परिषेचनान्तंकृत्वोत्तराभ्यांयोक्त्रंविमुच्यतांततःप्रवावाहयेत्।

समोप्यैतमग्निमनुहरन्ति ।नित्यः।धार्यः ।अनुगतोमन्थ्यः।श्रोत्रियागाराद्वाहार्यः।

A.G.S.2.6.8-9 गृहान्प्रपादन्नुत्तरांवाचयतिदक्षिणेनपदा नचदेहलीमभितिष्ठति।

pariShEchanaantam krutvOttaraabhyaam yOktram vimuchya taam tata: pra vaa vaahayEt pra vaa haarayEt. samOpyaitamagnimanuharanti. gruhaanprapaadannuttaraam vaachayati dakshiNEna padaa. na cha dEhaleemabhi tiShThati. nitya: dhaarya:. anugatO manthya: shrOtriyaagaaraadvaahaarya:

After this the yOktra (dharba chord around the waist) is removed by the husband with mantras. The wife is then taken by her husband to their new home. The relatives of the husband carry the vivAha agni in a vessel and follow the newly married couple to the house. It should be kept burning constantly. If it goes out, a new fire should be kindled or it should be fetched from the house of a shrOtriya.

“gRuha” means “house” and “pravesham” means entering. The wife enters her new home with her right foot to the chanting of mantras. She should not step on the threshold but cross across it and enter the house.

12. pravishya hOmam प्रविश्य हॊमम्

A.G.S.2.6.10-11 उत्तरपूर्वेदेशेऽगारस्याग्नेरुपसमाधानाद्याज्यभागान्तेऽन्वारब्धायामुत्तराआहुतीर्हुत्वाजयादिप्रतिपद्यते

परिषेचनान्तंकृत्वोत्तरयाचर्मण्युपविशतउत्तरोवरः। अथास्या: पुँस्वोर्जीवपुत्राया:

पुत्रमङ्कउत्तरयोपवेश्यतस्मैफलान्युत्तरेणयजुषाप्रदायोत्तरेजपित्वावाचंयच्छतआनक्षत्रेभ्यः

uttarapoorvE dEshE agaarasyaagnErupasamaadhaanaadyaajyabhaagaantE anvaarabdhaayaamuttaraa aahuteerhutvaa jayaadi pratipadyatE pariShEchanaantam krutvOttarayaa charmaNyupavishata uttarO vara:.

athaasyaa: pumsvOrjeevaputraayaa: putramangka uttarayOpavEshya tasmai phalaanyuttarENa yajuShaa pradaayOttarE japitvaa vaacham yachChata aa nakshatrEbhya:

In the evening, the husband performs sandhyAvandanam and mantrajapam. Then the Ajya bhAga oblations are perfomed. Then the husband and wife sit together, with the wife sitting to his right always. The wife touches the husband’s hand (anvArambhanam) signifying that her husband performs the hOma jointly with her. The husband performs the pravishya hOmam 1.e. 13 offerings to agni with mantras seeking blessings from all dEvatAs for the proper running of the houselhold with his wife. Then jayAdi hOmam is also peformed.

After this the wife gets up and sits to his left. A male child is made to sit on the wife’s lap. The wife feeds the child with a fruit, while mantras are recited. (Such a male child is to be selected whose brothers or sisters have not died)

13. dhruva arundhati darshaNam ध्रुव अरुन्धति दर्शणम्:

A.G.S.2.6.12 उदितेषुनक्षत्रेषुप्राचीमुदीचींवादिशमुपनिष्क्रम्योत्तराभ्यांयथालिङ्गंध्रुवमरुन्धतींचदर्शयति।

uditEShu nakShatrEShu praacheemudeecheem vaa dishamupaniShkramyOttaraabhyaam yathaalingam dhruvamarundhateem cha darshayati।

After the pravisya hOmam, the couple go towards North or East, and look at the sky together. The wife shows him the pole star (dhruva nakshatra) reciting the following mantra: ( or the husband recites the mantra and they see the polestar together)

dhruvakShitirdhruvayOnirdhruvamasi dhruvatassthitam

tvaM nakShatrANAM methyasi sa mA pAhi pRutanyata:

dhruva means pole star.

Oh dhruva! You are indestructible. You are the embodiment of truth. You attained the supreme permanent position due to your unshaken concentration and devotion to the Lord. You are the kingpin of the galaxy. May you grant such power and determination to our life.

Then the husband shows her the arundhati star reciting the mantra

sapta RuShaya: prathamAM kRuttikAnAmarundhateeM yaddhruvatAM ha ninyu:

ShaTkRuttikA mukhyayogaM vahanteeyamasmAkameghatvaShTami.

He shares with her some information about arundhati. Saptarishi Mandalais a group of seven stars named after the seven sages. The individual Marichi, Vasishta, Angirasa, Atri, Pulatsya, Pulaha and Kratu.

All the 7 sages’ wives are called kRutikkAs who were very devoted to their husbands. All the kRutikkas had themselves declared that arundhati is the best among them. arundhati is regarded as the epitome of chastity, conjugal bliss and devotion to husband. May you acquire these values and shine like the eighth kRutikkA, bestowed with all fortune.

(This constellation is called Ursa Major and has in it the pair star Mizar which is said to be vashishTha mahaRushi and a faint star Alcor nearby which is arundhati. )

With this the vivAha ceremonies come to a conclusion. The couple is ready to conduct their life together.

गृहस्थ धर्मा:

gRuhastha dharmA:

व्यास सम्हिता, vyAsa samhitA chapters 3 & 4:

३.१. नित्यं नैमित्तिकं काम्यमिति कर्म त्रिधा मतम् ।

त्रिविधं तच्च वक्ष्यामि ग्रुहस्थस्यावधार्यताम् ।।

The duties of a householder may be classified as nityam, naimittikam and kAmyam. Those that are to be performed daily, those that are performed periodically or on the happening of an event and those that are performed for the fulfilment of specific desires.

३.२. यामिन्या: पश्चिमे यामे त्यक्तनिद्रो हरीं स्मरेत् ।

अलोक्य मङल्यद्रव्यं कर्मवश्यकमाचरेत् ।।

A householder should quit his bed at the close of the last quarter of the night, meditating upon Lord Hari. Then having seen auspicious articles he should commence his daily duties.

३.३. कृत शौचो निषेव्याग्निं दन्तान् प्रक्षाल्य वारिणा ।

स्नात्वोपास्य द्विज: सन्ध्यां देवादींश्चैव तर्पयेत् ।।

Having cleansed and washed himself, he should look at the fire. Then he should cleanse his teeth with water,bath and perform his sandhyA worship . Then he should offer libations of water to The devas, Rushis and pitRus in order as ordained by the shAStrAs.

३.४. वॆदवेदाङ्गशास्त्राणि इतिहासानि चाभ्यसेत् ।

अध्यापयेच्च सच्छिष्यान् सद्विप्राश्च द्विजोत्तम: ।।

Then he should study the vEdAs, itihAsas and shAstras. The vipras (learned brAhmaNas) should give instructions to his students.

3.69. अध्यापनं ब्रह्मयज्ञ: पितृयज्ञस्तु तर्पणम् |

हॊमॊ दैवॊ बलिर्भौतॊ नृयज्ञोऽतिथिपूजनम् ||

Then he must perform the pancha mahAyagyas as ordained. This includes brahmayagyam, pitRu yagyam, dEva yagyam, bhoota yagyam and athithi yagyam. (manusmRiti 3.69)

४.२.गृहाश्रमात् परो धर्मो नास्ति नास्ति पुन: पुन: |

सर्वतीर्थफलं तस्य यथोक्तं यस्तु पालयेत् ||

The holy vyAsA has repeatedly said that the household is the best hermitage in the world. He who faithfully discharges the duties of a householder acquires the merit of visiting all holy shrines.

४.३. गुरुभक्तो भृत्यपोषी दयावाननसूयक: |

नित्यजापी च होमी च सत्यवादी जितेन्द्रिय:| |

४.४. स्वदारे यस्य सन्तोष: परदारनिवर्तनम् |

अप्रवादोऽपि नो यस्य तस्य तीर्थफलं गृहे ||

The householder who respects his elders and preceptors (AchAryas), supports his servants, is kind, not envious, daily performs his hOma and japa (meditation or recitation), truthful and self-controlled, is faithful to his own wife, shuns the company of other women, and gives no room for disgrace on him, acquires the merit of a pilgrimage, even without stepping out of his home.

3.११. ऋताञ्च यजुषां साम्नामथ्र्वाङ्गीरसामपि |

इतिहासपुराणां वेदोपनिषदां द्विज: | |

शक्त्या सम्यक् पठेन्नित्यमल्पमप्या समापनात् |

स यज्ञदानतपसामखिलं फलमाप्नुयात् ||

तस्मादहरहर्वेदं द्विजोऽधीयीत् वाग्यत: ||

A twice born can acquire the merits of religious sacrifices, charity, and austerities just by reading the vEdAs, itihAsAs and purANAs to the best of his capacity every day, avoiding any idle talk.

४.१३. इन्द्रियाणि वशीकृत्य गृह एव वसेन्नर: |

तत्र तस्य कुरुक्षेत्रं नैमिषं पुष्करणी च ||

४.१४. गङ्गाद्वारश्च केदारं सन्निहत्य तथैव च|

एतानि सर्वतीर्थानि कृत्वा पापै: प्रमुच्यते ||

All the holy tanks and shrines such as kurukshEtram, naimiSham, pushkar, gangAdvAra, kedAram themselves visit the house of the gRuhastha who has subdued all his senses and desires and thus he becomes absolved of all his sins.

स्त्री धर्मा:

stree dharmA:

विष्णु संहिता, २५, viShNu samhitA, chapter 25

1.भर्तु: समानव्रतचारित्वम् ।

To observe the same religious rites as her husband’s.

2.श्वश्रु-श्वशुर-गुरु-देवता-अतिथि पूजनम् ।

To serve her mother-in-law, father-in-law, the gOds, the guru and the guest.

3.सुसंस्कृतोपस्करता ।

To maintain her household articles in a clean and presentable manner.

4.अमुक्तहस्तता ।

Not to be spend lavishly.

5.सुगुप्तभाण्डता ।

To keep her purse concealed (to have saving habits)

6.मूत्रक्रियास्वनभिरति ।

No to use medical treatment for love-charms.

7.मङ्गलाचारतत्परता ।

To observe auspicious customs.

8.भर्तरि प्रवसितेऽप्रतिकर्म क्रिया ।

Not to decorate herself as to attract, when the husband is out of town.

9. परगृहेष्वनभिगमनम् ।

Not to stay in the house of strangers.

10. द्वारदेश-गवाक्षकॆष्वन वस्थानम् ।

Not to stay at the window or door of her house.

11. सर्वकर्मस्वस्वतन्त्रता ।

To do her duties after taking proper guidance.

12. बाल्ययौवनव्वार्द्धकेष्वपि पितृभर्तृपुत्राधीनता ।

Let her take the protection of her father when she is a child, of her husband when she is a wife and of her son when she is old.

13. नास्ति स्त्रीणां प्रुथग्यज्ञो न व्रतं नाप्युपोषितम् ।

पतिं शुश्रूयते यत्तु तेन स्वर्गे महीयते।

No religious sacrifice, penance or fasting needs to be observed by women. A woman is glorified in heaven just by serving her husband.

14. मृते भर्तरि साध्वी स्त्री ब्रह्मचर्ये व्यवस्थिता ।

स्वर्गं गच्छत्यपुत्रापि यथा ते ब्रह्मचारिण: । ।

Even a sonless woman living the life of perfect chastity after the demise of her husband, attains heaven like the brahmachArees.

रजस्वला स्त्री धर्मा:

rajasvalA stree dharmA:

A women in menstruation is called a rajasvalA रजस्वला.

Parasara smRuti 7.17 & 7.18

१. स्नानं रजस्वला या तु चतुर्थेऽह्नि शुध्यति.

कुर्याद्रहोनिवृत्तौ तु दैवपित्र्यादिकर्म च.

1. snaanaM rajasvalaa yA tu chaturthe&hni shudhyati
kuryaadrahonivRuttau tu daivapitryAdikarma cha.

A woman regains her purity on the fourth day of her menstrual flow, after bathing. She cannot however perform any deva karma or pitRu karma unless the flow has stopped completely. This also would mean that if on the fourth day, her flow had stopped then she could take part in the devapitRu karmas.

२. रोगेण यद्रज: स्त्रीणामत्यर्थं हि प्रवर्तते.

अशुद्धास्तु न तेनेह तासां वैकारिकं हि तत्.

2. rogeNa yadraja: streeNAmatyarthaM hi pravartate.
ashuddhAstu na teneha taasaaM vaikaarikaM hi tat.

A woman suffering from abnormal discharge of blood is not considered impure because it is on account of a pathological condition and not a normal physiological condition.

Apastamba smRuti 7.3

३. साध्वाचारा न सा तावद्रजो यावत् प्रवर्तते

वृत्ते रजसि साध्वी स्याद्गृहकर्म्मणि चैन्द्रिये.

3. saadhvaachAraa na saa taavadrajo yaavat pravartate
vRutte rajasi saadhvee syaadgRuhakarmmaNi chaindriye.

A woman remains unclean as long as the flow continues in her each month. She becomes clean on the stoppage of discharge and is fit for domestic and conjugal actions.

४. विवाहे वितते यज्ञे संस्कारे च कृते तथा

रजस्वला भवेत् कन्या संस्कारस्तु कथम्भवेत्.

५. स्नापयित्वा तदा कन्यामन्यर्वस्त्रैरलङ्कृतम्,

पुन: प्रत्याहुतिं हुत्वा शॆषं कर्म समाचरेत्.

4. vivAhe vitate yaj~je saMskaare cha kRute tathaa
rajasvalaa bhavet kanyA saMskArastu kathambhavet.

5. snApayitvaa tadaa kanyAmanyarvastrairala~gkRutam,
puna: pratyaahutiM hutvA shEShaM karma samaacharet.

This is regarding a girl who begins menstruation on the day of her marriage, or during the marriage ceremony. She has to have a bath on the fourth day and get decorated with new clothes. Then the hOma should be started from the beginning and the rest of the ceremonies have to be completed.